ICEF.ru For admin »
 

Добавьте свою цитату или
отправьте на

Цитаты


Фильтрация:

— по автору: Amos Witztum


настроить фильтр


2011-2012



Экономика


A producer says: 'I measure you in shit!'
Amos Witztum

Why do people hold cash? Suppose you are going along the street with your girlfriend and she sees a Porche. If you are a millionaire you will say 'Oh, come on I will buy you a porche' but if you are poor you will say 'Fast, look at the other side, don't look at that bloody money!'
Amos Witztum

Kristal'no yasno? Da? Harasho!
Student: Amos, it is horosho, not harasho.
Amos: You know, people from Vologda say 'horosho'. Actually, you have one teacher from Vologda...
Amos Witztum, Студент

What does a central bank wants to do when he increases interest rate? Ok, you don't know... Let's suppose your boyfriend asks you this question as a student of economics he remembers that for some reason central bank increases interest rate? Or you just simply say ' go away, Central Bank, and cook your cookies!'?
Amos Witztum

The employer says "I measure you in shit (meaning waste)", and we say that we measure our labour in bread.
Amos Witztum

Only in Russia people see derivatives.
Amos Witztum




2003-2004



Экономика


There's a famous criminal, fraudster... OK, forget it. Imagine Prince Charles...
Amos Witztum




2002-2003



Экономика


Why don't you know what "r" is? Because you've just come? But has "r" just come? No, it has been here for two weeks at least!
Amos Witztum

We don't force you to read anyone's particular writings... except mine.
Amos Witztum

The aim of Rosie's lecture was to test your robustness in economics.
Amos Witztum

Let's call this place "Kindergarten of Economics and Finance".
Amos Witztum

The best way to use your certificates is to set up a kiosk and start selling them. The reason we WASTE four years in this university...
Amos Witztum




2001-2002



Экономика


If you want to become rich, buy cheaply and sell expensively. However, our course is designed to teach you to think.
Amos Witztum

Imagine two firms. One consists only of Hippies. They are always happy, they make love all the time. By the way, is love an economic good? Sometimes it is... Somehow the Hippies manage to produce something... Ha-ha, reproductive organs in biology are productive organs in economics. You did not think economics could be so exciting, did you? However, there is another firm consisting of Puritans. If somebody does not work properly in it, they kill him immediately. Economists call this "giving up sth.", but you like the word SACRIFICE (takes a position of an ancient priest: one hand in the air and a fearful expression on the face, as if going to stab somebody with a knife). Now imagine that the Puritans have no costs connected with getting rid of the bodies. Which firm has lower costs?
Amos Witztum

What does price mean? Nobody knows? Amazing...
Amos Witztum

Dobroe utro! I mean: QUIET!
Amos Witztum

Student: The slope is positive... – A. Witztum: Yeah, it's negative. Go on!
Amos Witztum

A monopolist is alone, but not lonely: a McDonald's on Mars.
Amos Witztum

Ah, you have beautiful drawings... Candinsky of the monopoly analysis.
Amos Witztum

Where were we? (amazed) How did we get to this mess? Ah, the monopolist!
Amos Witztum

А. Вицтум: Сколько человек взяли на МИЭФ?
– Нуреев: Девяносто
– А. Вицтум: А в Лондоне мы одобрили только шестдесять...
Amos Witztum

Р. Нуреев: Crystal clear... – A. Witztum: КРЫСТАЛНО ЯСНО...
Amos Witztum

(with a notepad in his hand) Say what you think. We are not taking notes.
Amos Witztum

Russia is deep-deep inside... its frontier.
Amos Witztum




© Студенты и преподаватели МИЭФ. Имена изменены.