— по автору: Simon Skempton
Herodotus is the father of history. so if you're gonna hate this course (which you will), you know who to blame!Simon Skempton
Sooo, you're gonna do a presentation. how it goes... well, you stand in front of everybody, read your text, everyone laughs and throws tomatoes at you. then you sit down, that's allSimon Skempton
Well, in fact there's only one essay that you should write. I just said there're two because I wanted you to choose philosophySimon Skempton
Did you just say "чего"? you're gonna be saying a lot of ЧЕГО during these lecturesSimon Skempton
Aaaand now I'm gonna pick a victim and he'll be humiliatedSimon Skempton
S.S. - were you at the last lecture?
Student - my heart was there!
S.S. - but your ass wasn't!Simon Skempton, Student
Todays lecture is going to be so exceptionally boring, that it's actually going to be interesting in it's dullness.Simon Skempton
Simon: Rousseau said, that ancient man had only two desires: he wanted a meal and a woman.
Student: Just like a student - but students also want to sleepSimon Skempton, Student
Every student who is later than the teacher is really late, especially if the teacher is me.Simon Skempton
When I tell them that I am a British citizen they always say:"Give us back Berezovski!"Simon Skempton
A terrible idea that teachers take money for their teaching!Simon Skempton
Culture shock in America! You were shocked by the bananas? Well you ain't heard nothing yet!Simon Skempton
Have you ever heard of the word "work"? No? Well, it means an action that was invented by Germans in the 16th century... Yes, terrible. Only Germans could have invented it.Simon Skempton
Simon: If a drug-addict suddenly stops taking drugs, he gets cold turkey
Студент: I like the word 'turkey' being spelled with a small 't'Simon Skempton, Студент
Aristotle gave private English lessons to Alexander the Great.Simon Skempton
Reality is a very frightening thing, and if I were you I would avoid it as much as I could.Simon Skempton
"Suchnost" doesn't describe essence in general, it only describes, perhaps, the essence of Aristotle's wife.Simon Skempton
It sounds like a philosopher speaking because it sounds like nonsense.Simon Skempton
And, as all Plato's dialogs, the "Republic" begins with the question (пишет на доске) "WTF?"Simon Skempton
In democracy, do you have the best, the wisest people ruling the country? No, you have Arnold Schwarzenegger.Simon Skempton
Студент пытается понять содержание высказанных Саймоном слов:
— Да тут без ста грамм не разберешься!
Simon Skempton с энтузиазмом:
— Exactly!Студент, Simon Skempton
...You know, 'bum' is more like 'popotchka', not 'zhopa'.Simon Skempton
Student: "What is real beer? It's that one after which you feel like just-born." Simon: "How?" — "You are crawling, crying, not able to speak." — Simon, with great interest, "What beer?"Simon Skempton
S. Skempton: "Oh, it's horizontal snow!" — Student: "Maybe it's vertical snow, and our building is horizontal?" — Simon: "No, gravitational fields tell me we're vertical."Simon Skempton
(speaking about dictatorship)
Simon Skempton: "...So, you've still got freedom: die, or obey me." — Student: "Can I die?" — "Yes, sure, here's the window."Simon Skempton
Best thing about being cool is not realising how cool you are.Simon Skempton
(экзамен по интеллектуальной истории Европы)
Simon Skempton: "Anyone who cheats will get a lower mark." — Студент, шепотом: "Simon, this girl is using shpargalka!" — Simon: "Stukach!"Simon Skempton, Студент
History of ideas is history of mistakes. . .it can be called a history of stupid ideas.Simon Skempton
Now, what is 'phalanx'? It is not to be confused with the word 'phallus'...Simon Skempton
Plato's writings present Socrates as a clever guy playing with some idiots...Do YOU know any idiots?Simon Skempton
"Romans called them 'barbarians' because they wore beards."
"What about the Greeks? Didn't they also wear beards?"
"Well, Aristotle and Plato did wear beards, but they were Hippies."Simon Skempton
The November essay was easy in a difficult way, but the April essay is difficult in an easy way.Simon Skempton
Locke's life was very similar to his philosophy - it was very boring.Simon Skempton
Don't be mistaken to think that there is anything interesting in the philosophy of Locke.Simon Skempton
Rousseau lived in houses of rich women and had relationships with them. . .then, suddenly, he decided to write a book.Simon Skempton
Philosophy makes you happy? You haven't understood something.Simon Skempton
(about Hagel's philosophy)
Two opposite things are identical! Oh my God! Let's commit suicide!Simon Skempton
I am for Krister Sairsingh today. . .the real Krister Sairsingh has gone to the Carribean, you know, Trinidad. . .he is lying on the beach, drinking rum, reading your essays...Simon Skempton
© Студенты и преподаватели МИЭФ. Имена изменены.