— по предмету: English
Student: Where should we keep our nuclear wastes?
Dunnet: Belgium. Who needs Belgium?Mark Dunnet, Student
(разговор об обязательных предметах в английских средних школах)
Г. Хофф: What I can say about it: Math, History, English...
Студент: And what about Russian?
Г. Хофф: Not in England. Not yet.Глен Хофф, Студент
Mark: -Do you want good news, or bad news?
Students: -Bad news!
Mark: -Grammar!Mark Dunnet, Студент
Every student who is later than the teacher is really late, especially if the teacher is me.Simon Skempton
When I tell them that I am a British citizen they always say:"Give us back Berezovski!"Simon Skempton
A terrible idea that teachers take money for their teaching!Simon Skempton
Culture shock in America! You were shocked by the bananas? Well you ain't heard nothing yet!Simon Skempton
Have you ever heard of the word "work"? No? Well, it means an action that was invented by Germans in the 16th century... Yes, terrible. Only Germans could have invented it.Simon Skempton
Simon: If a drug-addict suddenly stops taking drugs, he gets cold turkey
Студент: I like the word 'turkey' being spelled with a small 't'Simon Skempton, Студент
Do you know how Santa Claus can fly over the whole world just in one night?
Simple. Santa claus and superman is a gay couple.Mark Dunnet
...You know, 'bum' is more like 'popotchka', not 'zhopa'.Simon Skempton
Студент: "Marriage is a good investment." — M. Dannett, в сторону: "A young, romantic fool..."Mark Dannett
Студент: "Mark, why don't you answer the phone? Maybe this is Simon." M. Dannett: "Oh, no, he'd just break the wall and shout."Mark Dannett
Russian language has 6 cases, Estonian 12, the Finns have 50, and the highest suicide rate in Europe.Helen-Mary Jones
(студентке в кофточке с капюшоном):
Oh, who is hiding under this...hm...how do you call it in English? Ah, hood!Helen-Mary Jones
It was a holiday in the Soviet Union, and after that it was de...de...DEHOLIDAYED.Helen-Mary Jones
H.M.Jones: "Don't tell me you do not know what brainstorm is. The question is, where is the brain?" Student: "The brain has gone with the storm."Helen-Mary Jones
Can you distinguish the word "friend" there? It looks more like "suicide" to me.Helen-Mary Jones
Who walked with my piece of paper? You're faster than people in the metro!Helen-Mary Jones
What do you mean by saying that "lunch is a ceremony"? Ta-ta-da-ta-taaa!.. It's lunch time!Helen-Mary Owen
There are two types of presents in Russia, 'подарок' and 'взятка'. The difference is that one type is given after you get something and the other before you get something.Helen-Mary Jones
When you are young you think that only young is good. But when you are older you realise that old is sometimes better.Helen-Mary Jones
There is an old woman in the shop, and she gives me what I want.Tony Rosato
"Tomorrow night we are having a private supper with Chris De Bourgh." – "Just two of you?" – "No, seventy of us."Tony Rosato
A baby has two pleasures: oral and anal. Oral is to eat, and anal is to...communicate with the world.Tony Rosato
Student: I do not have children yet. – Tony: Keep trying, keep trying...Tony Rosato
If you are late for the class because you saved a BABUSHKA's life, please bring the babushka along with you as a proof.Tony Rosato
You read your essay so rapidly as if the objective was to deliver your POPKA to the seat as quickly as possible.Tony Rosato
© Студенты и преподаватели МИЭФ. Имена изменены.